How This CBT Technique Can Help You Win Over Your Inner Bully [Guest Post at The Mighty]

I’m a regular contributor at The Mighty, an organization that has been a source of comfort, support and endless resources for me over the last few years. I write there about the ways that mental illness and the pursuit of wellness weave through our family, marriage, parenting, and friendships. If you are also on this path, I know you’ll find encouragement and insight in their resources and community!


woman in black t shirt staring on wall mirror

Photo by Pedro Sandrini on Pexels.com

“You’re so needy. Can’t you just deal with it? Do you really need to ruin every friendship by making it all about you and your issues? This is why nobody wants to hang out with you.”

“Are you seriously still hung up on this? Get over it!”

“You’re going to cancel again? Come on! Don’t blame it on your illness, we all know you’re just lazy and selfish. Pull yourself together.”

We would be shocked to hear anybody utter these words to a stranger, let alone a dear friend.

Yet, how many of us allow this kind of inner dialog to torment us day after day without relief? Why do we bully ourselves this way? What can we do to stop it?

Click here to finish reading this article at The Mighty

Standard

Mental Health, Marriage, and Faith: a podcast conversation with Melissa Smallwood

Last week I had the pleasure of chatting with my friend Melissa Smallwood on her podcast Saving Our Stories. I was totally unprepared for how profoundly the experience would touch me, it was such a gift to have an open and honest conversation about something that is so often taboo in everyday conversation.

Melissa is doing a powerful and needed work with her podcasting, inviting women to share their stories with others. I can think of nothing more basic to our human sense of connection, and yet I also can’t think of the last time someone asked me to talk about my experience as a caregiver or about my own mental health. I felt so empowered and validated as I shared about the journey I’ve been on over the last decade and what I’ve been reflecting on and learning from it.

I hope it will be encouraging to you too.

You can listen here: Episode 8, Navigating Mental Health Issues in Real Life. 

Standard

Marriage and Borderline Personality Disorder (New Post at The Mighty)

I am thrilled to announce I’ve become a contributor at The Mighty, an organization that has been a source of comfort, support and endless resources for me over the last few years. I look forward to sharing more there about the ways that mental illness and the pursuit of wellness weave through our family, marriage, parenting, and friendships. If you are also on this path, I know you’ll find encouragement and insight in their resources and community!


When I was young and in love and putting the final details on our wedding plans, I spent an evening curled up on our scratchy goodwill sofa reading through the vows we would be making in a few short weeks. I tried to picture it, all of our loved ones gathered together, our friends standing up beside us, the beautiful Rock River flowing behind as we made lifelong promises to one another. Dreams finally becoming reality, the beginning of our life together, the first day of a grand new adventure.

The line “in sickness and in health” felt so out of place in all the flowery, lovey language. A little bit of real talk smashed in the middle of the wedding day magic. I tried to picture what would happen if a tragic accident or illness rendered this man I love totally reliant on me. Could I feed him, change his diapers, wash his body, attend to his every need? Could I accept the loss of a lover, a confidant, a fellow adventurer? The answer came fast, confident. Of course. Of course I would. I would do anything for him.

What I didn’t know then was how illness was already creeping into our lives…

Read the rest here: The Tangled Web of Marriage, Love and My Husband’s Borderline Personality Disorder

Standard